


i can be blue

by stupidloud



Series: literally the spiderman au [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: (Obviously), Deadpool Lance, Established Relationship, Girl Gang, M/M, Ngl the ending Aint a Happy One, Spiderman AU, Spiderman Keith, Webs and Guns, but the beginning is fluffy!, cursing, it's finally here folks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-17 02:35:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11842179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidloud/pseuds/stupidloud
Summary: “What the fuck.”“Will you ever greet me properly? ‘Hi, Wade, nice to see you, how you bee—““What the fuck, Wade?”Wade harrumphed, “Someone’s not getting a smoothie.” He took Keith’s phone to plop the cups down, turning it on. Keith made a swipe for it but Wade slapped him away, tutting, “Ah, ah, ah! Driving, eyes forward. C’mon, man, road safety’s not a joke.”It’s like—Just—Keith still wasn’t sure what was happening. Honestly.✦In which Keith is Spiderman, Lance is Deadpool, and the former will know both of these facts, while the ladder is completely screwed. Based off emuyhn's AU on twitter.





	i can be blue

**Author's Note:**

> dAMN this thing turned into a gotdang WHOPPER, no?
> 
> Ya'll asked so much I finally got the inspiration back. After watching Homecoming I wanted to write an au of THAT movie but I'm already writing this so fuc. wwhatever. let's see if anybody actually wants me to first. this is part 2 of a series, tho i guess u could read it as a standalone since there's really no overlap, but the first one gives more history, I guess, sooooo u do u. to reiterate, this AU is entirely [emuyhn's](https://twitter.com/emuyhn) baby, I'm just adding on because they are so creative. imma ask ya'll to link this @ them 'cause I'm too lazy to, so if you'd please. k, i'm done talking. enjoy, ya'll
> 
> title taken from Grace Kelly by MIKA ;;)

“No,” Keith squished the phone between his shoulder and his ear to pour the pancake mix into the pan, “no, sorry, I didn’t have time to ask him how he engineered the shrink ray while he was trying to kill me, Pidge.”

A huff, _“That’s negligent, Keith, I reminded you and everything.”_

He snorted and rolled his eyes, grabbing the phone again, “I promise to remember you next time I have trees being chucked at me like baseballs.”

 _“Seems appropriate,”_ she said importantly. Keith heard a high whine and imagined her poking at the remnants of some other weapon he’d been able to salvage and take to her. Probably the cloaking bracelet thing.

“Alright, well, I’m hanging up ‘cause you’re annoying and I haven’t had coffee.”

_“Ditto.”_

“See you in class today?”

_“Yup.”_

She hung up before he could and he tossed the phone on the sliver of counter next to the stove. Pidge was actually the first person he’d told about his Thing (after Shiro, but he didn’t count), though ‘told’ was a stretch. She had been climbing back up to her apartment in the same alley he’d crashed in to take a breather during paroles one day.

Class was at 1:30 and it was 11:something. If Lance didn’t wake up before he was done, he’d just have to leave the pancakes—

Never mind. There was a creak down the hall, a curse he wouldn’t have been able to notice if it weren’t for the whole super-hearing thing. He kept his face carefully neutral, waiting until the creaking was a foot or two away before: “Want yours with chocolate chips?”

“ _Goddammit,_ ” Lance groaned, and Keith turned in time to see him collapse over the table dramatically. “I give _up._ You win, _asshole._ ”

Keith flipped the cake and leaned back on the stove, crossing his arms with a smirk, “Oh, right, _I’m_ the asshole for not letting you scare me at every opportunity.”

“Yup, yes,” he pointed frantically, straightening up, “that is exactly correct, right on the money, that’s Yahtzee.”

“Hm, okay,” he turned back to slide the pancake on a plate, immediately pouring in more batter, “then the asshole’ll eat all of this by himself—“

The chair scraped as Lance jumped to his feet, throwing one arm around Keith’s shoulders and the other at his waist, “No, nooo I take it back. You’re the best, least assholey-est boyfriend ever, and I love your pancakes.”

“The true duality of a man,” Keith deadpanned.

Lance started peppering kisses all over the side of his face, “ _Best_ , _least_ assholey-est boyfriend _ever,_ ” he slowed down near Keith’s ear, sing-songing, “and I _looove youuu._ ”

It was this warm, swooping feeling that took up every available space in his chest. He hated how expertly Lance could turn everything around. It was absolutely fucking criminal.

Keith twisted to face him, fighting the blood rushing to his head, “You abuse that, you know.”

“No, I actually don’t,” Lance smiled, “I just like telling my boyfriend I lo—“

And so Keith kissed Lance to shut him up and the following events as a result of that action ended them up with one burnt, three cold pancakes. Keith dumped the burnt one on Lance’s plate since it was his fault.

“You’re the worst,” he moaned, which was not what he had been moaning three minutes ago, but alright. Keith smiled pointedly at him, shoving a chunk of pancake in his mouth. He was used to wolfing down food and never really grew out of the habit, especially since he had to catch the subway on time every day for class.

He swallowed down the mush and pointed at Lance with his fork, “You got home late last night. Was it Diana?”

Lance’s eyes narrowed at the very mention of his manager, entire demeanor going vicious, “She dumped _another_ late night shift on me and Kass. Can you believe that shit? Kass needed to go pick up her little sister from karate and she couldn’t fuckin’ go because that _puta_ didn’t let her. I swear to God, Richard’s sucking her dick or something, ‘cause he’s never stayed past five.”

“Are you assuming she has a dick?”

“He’s doing something down there, Keith, it’s a fuckin’ conspiracy. I swear on my life, I’m gonna walk into the break room one of these days and see something I don’t wanna see.”

Keith snorted, “You and Pidge should team up on that one.”

“Probably,” he muttered and angrily chewed another piece of pancake. The melted chocolate chip stuck to his lip and Keith felt a grin quirk the side of his mouth. He decided not to say anything, standing and dumping his plate in the sink.

He picked up a pair of joggers and a t-shirt from the floor, pulling it on while he gargled his mouth with Listerine. He walked back out into the living room to grab a ponytail from the bowl on the coffee table, snapping his hair into a quick bun. Lance was just now finishing, his plate clanging loudly.

“I’ll be back by 4, probably,” Keith said, checking his phone to make sure he could still catch the 12:15, “I’m eating lunch with Pidge and Hunk at that new pizza place near the campus. You wanna go?”

Lance shrugged, going over to flop on the couch, scratching at the scars going up his neck, “Meh, I think I’m just gonna chill today. I have a project for my Humanities class I need to start and all that jazz.”

Keith took his hoodie and bag from the same hook off the wall, looping the sweater over the top, “Okay. Good luck.”

“Ditto,” Lance called, making kissing noises until Keith bent to peck him quick on the mouth. At least he meant it to be, until Lance cupped the back of his neck and prolonged it, all slow, no rush. Keith pulled away with a small smile on his face he saw mirrored on Lance.

“ _Ten un buen dia, mi amor.”_

“You too, love.”

 ✦

He got to class with five minutes to spare, stopping by the small coffee stand to buy a black with an amount of sugar that probably wasn’t healthy (Lance would always steal a sip then gag).

Pidge was in her usual seat a couple of rows from the front, which basically forced Keith to be there too. He took his ear buds out to greet her, shoving the tangle into the front pocket of his messenger bag, “What’s up, gremlin.”

“Hello, arachnid male.”

He collapsed into the hard plastic chair and flicked her ear. She shoved his shoulder. There were so many tabs open on her computer it was hard to focus on anything. He squinted, leaning closer.

“Pidge, what the hell are you doing?”

“Two essays, programming this thing Hunk needs for one of his robots, and working as your honorary crime finder.”

“What?”

She motioned to the left side of the screen, “Live camera feeds from the most crime-prone parts of the city, a tap into the police radio—“

Keith rose an eyebrow, “I think that’s pretty illegal.”

“I’m sure there’s some law against causing major damage to the city through web-slinging,” she dismissed, waving a hand at him, “so shut it.” He complied and listened to her explain the set up until the professor arrived with the telltale air horn noise she’d hooked up to the speakers to get them to be quiet when she came in. It took a couple of pulls until everybody stopped talking. Keith already has the Word doc from last class open, starting at Boyle’s Law.

Yes, this was so interesting and applicable to everyday life. How could he possibly live without the knowledge of what the inverse relationship of gases was?

He perched his chin on one hand and opened an extra tab next to the doc, pulling up the website Shay had recommended to find a new coffee table. Hunk and Lance (he hadn’t asked who) had stabbed their old one while sword fighting earlier in the week. Keith would be fine with a gash, but it had cracked almost completely down the middle and was most definitely not surviving till the end of the month.

Lance was not allowed to shop for furniture anymore since they’d been initially buying a coffee table and he’d ordered one shaped like a dick. Like, with an actual picture of a penis on the top. _Actually. A grown ass man._

They hadn’t been dating when they first became roommates, so as funny as Keith had found it, he took the angrier approach of shouting at Lance and returning it. He hadn’t realized the reason Lance frustrated him so much was because of the whole massive crush thing until later.

He only started paying attention again near the end of class when Ms. Fernandez pulled up a diagram. He googled it and dragged it into the doc. And blinked.

Rubbed at his eyes a bit for good measure.

Because, of course, _fuck_ Keith Kogane especially. What kind of little bitch wants a normal life for once?

At the bottom of the page, in 14-point Times New Roman, was his address, typed over and over. Except he wasn’t typing it. His hands weren’t even near the keyboard anymore.

This was a joke, right?

He poked Pidge’s shoulder and gave an unimpressed rise to his eyebrows, motioning. _Seriously?_

She glanced boredly, eyes going wide. She slowly shook her head. _Not me._

 _Fuck_. An entire page was filled with text. There was a lull and a new address started going, one Keith didn’t recognize. He started raising his hand to be excused when Pidge started shaking it with a strangled gasp.

Her screen had gone dark. Bold white FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW ME, FOLLOW MEs were scrawling across the black and a sinister sort of cold dribbled down Keith’s spine.

A low murmur had started around the room. People were pushing their laptops at each other, and Keith didn’t have to look to know. Even the projection had been replaced. Pidge was typing furiously at her keyboard in an attempt to make it stop.

His doc was still open to the unknown address. He fumbled to unlock his phone and take a picture.

Almost immediately, his laptop turned off and started flashing a symbol, the FOLLOW MEs continuing behind it. People were full on yelling now. The guy sitting in front of him was Snapchatting it.

_They knew where he was._

Keith slammed his laptop shut, shoving it into his bag. He hiked it on his shoulder, already booting up Google Maps, “Pidge, I don’t think I’m making lunch.”

“No shit,” she snarled, smacking her whole hand across the board in frustration.

“Just—“

_They knew where he lived._

“I’ll call Hunk, don’t worry. You going there?” She motioned toward the address.

 _They knew who_ _he was, holy shit._

“Yeah,” he was already texting Shiro to tell him he was on the way, halfway out of the room, “call Lance after Hunk, tell him to get out of the apartment. My phone doesn’t get good service on the subway.”

The location was near Bridgeport. He’d need Shiro’s car to get there. Get over there, ask what the hell this was about, get back in time for dinner.

_Jesus Christ, they knew where Lance lived._

Right?

_Alright._

_I’m following._

 ✦

Keith didn’t stop knocking until the door opened, thumping Shiro on the forehead. He blinked and Keith did it again.

“Do you want my car or not?”

Keith attempted to push past him, but his brother held out an arm, “I mean, it’s the fate of New York on your conscience.”

“Supers,” Shiro sighed, leaning on the doorway, “always so dramatic.”

“Shiro, seriously,” he ducked down and was met with a hard leg, “I need to be there, like, _now._ ”

“You didn’t explain anything to me over—“

“Shiro, _seriously._ ” He knew how to control his strength, so the shove wasn’t especially hard, but Shiro still looked shocked he did it. Keith gulped down the guilt and strode toward the couch to put down his bag. He toed off his shoes while he pulled out his suit, pretending he couldn’t see Shiro coming over. It wasn’t until he put a hand on Keith’s shoulder that he stopped, still averting his eyes.

Shiro sat next to the bag until Keith looked at him, crossing his arms, “You didn’t give me much background on what happened. Do that now.”

He did while he got dressed, mumbling some details and letting Shiro draw his own conclusions as to what the addresses meant. He clipped on the web slingers over the gloves and stored the mask in the gap since he didn’t like wearing it while he drove.

“So, they know where you live,” Shiro said slowly, gears very obviously turning in his head.

Keith hummed an affirmation, checking his phone.

 **[3:01 pm] gremlin™ :** srsly dont die

 **[2:57 pm] The Fave:** Pidge just told me what happened. If you don’t survive this im nver makign u Slutty Brownies again

**[2: 56 pm] Missed Call (2): Bae <3**

**[2:38 pm] gremlin™ :** stay safe nerd

This was standard fare when he went on anything that wasn’t spur of the moment. Once they knew there were sporadic texts throughout his day asking if he was still alive, once giving him away when Hunk’s robotic ANSWER ME ringtone echoed through the house he was hiding in.

He didn’t call back Lance, instead sending a short, _not dead yet, thanks for well wishes,_ to the group chat. If he started calling or texting he’d get too caught up and psyche himself out. Spiderman Mode differed from Keith Mode.

He tossed it back into the bag and scrubbed a hand through his hair.

“You have to move.”

“No,” Keith zipped the flap, strapping it over his shoulder, “we just settled. And it’s not just up to me—“

Shiro stood up to follow him as he went back to the front door, “Keith, this person is obviously stalking you. They probably know your routine if they know what class you were in. If they’re an actual threat, both of your lives are in danger—“

“Which is why I’m gonna do what they want and find out what their deal is.”

Shiro closed the door behind them, car keys jangling in his other fist. He lived in a nicer apartment complex than Keith, only three floors so the rooms were bigger and more spaced out. Came with having a S.H.I.E.L.D. officer’s salary, I guess. Also the reason why he had his own big black Hummer.

“It’s a question of both of your security. I’m your big brother, I have a right to be worried, especially if I’m sending you off on a suicide mission.”

Keith rolled his eyes, “And you call me dramatic.”

“Keith,” Shiro said in a warning tone, the Dad Voice. And when Keith looked at him, the Dad Look. “I’m serious.”

“So am I,” Keith kicked the building’s door open, spotting Shiro’s car, “This is my life. This is about the people in it. I’m not going to let this motherfucker threaten that.”

He held on to the door handle, putting a palm out for the keys.

Shiro was looking at him hard, not a glare, but not far from it. He pointed between them, “Not over, okay? We’re talking about this when you come back.” Shiro didn’t make the death jokes if they weren’t at his expense. He always believed Keith would come back.

“Yeah, yeah, dad, I got you,” he flexed his fingers. Shiro dropped the keys but gave him tight hug before he could unlock the Hummer. Keith put the same arm around his shoulders. For the tiniest moment, he didn’t really want to leave. He wanted to throw the Spidey suit into a dumpster and go to Hunk’s house and have a normal movie night with everybody. Go back home with the guy he loves and repeat.

He didn’t do that though.

Obviously.

He pat Shiro’s back so he pulled away. Shiro smacked Keith’s forehead with the heel of his hand and started walking away, “I’m not joking. We’re talking. I know all your hiding spots and have the contacts to retrieve you if necessary.”

“Alright, hey!” He unlocked the car and waved, “Hey, chill out there, Nick Fury, you haven’t been promoted there yet.”

Shiro didn’t respond as he went back inside.

Keith started up the car and threw his bag into the backseat with his phone in the cup holder. He was on the expressway when it buzzed.

 **[3:13 pm] Discount Winter Soldier:** Or have I, brother? Or have I…

✦ 

He was around mile Wow-I-Should’ve-Peed-Before-Leaving and past Greenwich when there was a knock at his window. Like, speeding down the highway, and there’s an honest to god _pum-pum-pum-pum-pum-PUM-PUM._

He’d been so focused on the road the disturbance caused him to swerve and a faint yelp sounded from the rood of the Hummer. A familiar one, but still fairly ruffling. Like, very fucking ruffling. Keith shoved the mask on hastily, not activating it so it didn’t obscure his vision.

The face he expected peeked through the passenger seat window, fluttering his fingers. He pointed at Keith and could’ve been talking, unfortunately.

Keith sucked a breath in and lowered the window. A second later, diving in feet first, Wade Wilson was sitting in his passenger seat. With a smoothie. Two, actually, but Keith wasn’t really looking.

“What the fuck.”

“Will you ever greet me properly? ‘Hi, Wade, nice to see you, how you bee—“

“What the _fuck,_ Wade?”

Wade harrumphed, “ _Someone’s_ not getting a smoothie.” He took Keith’s phone to plop the cups down, turning it on. Keith made a swipe for it but Wade slapped him away, tutting, “Ah, ah, ah! Driving, eyes forward. C’mon, man, road safety’s not a joke.”

It’s like—

Just—

Keith still wasn’t sure what was happening. Honestly.

He groaned, “What the hell are you doing in my car?”

“First of all, pretty sure this ain’t your car,” he motioned around vaguely. “Second of all, you let me in.”

He didn’t dwell on the fact Wade deduced that, since he could say the same thing, “Okay, what the hell were you doing _on_ my _brother’s_ car?”

Wade shrugged, tucking the straw of his smoothie under his mask to take a sip, “News travels fast in Nueva York, _amigo._ Heard you were heading for trouble and I decided you would need my illustrious assistance.”

“Saying big words doesn’t make you sound smarter.”

“Eh,” he slurped noisily and burped, dropping to cup back in the holder, “fuck off.”

“I don’t need your help. Go away.”

“Seems a bit dangerous to get out of a moving car.”

He clenched the wheel harder, changing lanes to take the exit. Wade gave a high whoop of delight, “Ooooh, which one of these is your squeeze?”

His body went hot and cold when he remembered what his lock screen wallpaper was. Lance had taken his phone while Keith was doing a photo shoot for work and taken too many selfies with Hunk and Allura, maxing out his phone’s storage. That particular picture was taken by Allura, who was blowing a kiss at the screen, Lance draped across her and Hunk’s laps with a wink, Hunk throwing a peace sign at the camera. Keith bit at his cheek.

The idea of Deadpool knowing what his boyfriend looked like didn’t really sit well. At the same time… Gah. Weird, weird.

“The tall one in the middle,” he rattled off.

“Looks taller than you,” Wade mumbled, squinting. His voice sounded amused, almost… reminiscent? What? “He’s hot, very sexy, but I feel like the big guy looks like a better catch. Should’ve gone for him.”

“Hunk’s engaged,” Keith said automatically, “and I feel like I’d have my ass handed to me by his fiancé if I even accidentally looked at him wrong.”

Wade snorted, “And you need your ass, right?”

Keith stayed mute, because this was very obviously going somewhere he would want to discuss with Shiro rather than Wade Wilson.

“Are you a top or a bottom, Spider M. Man?”

“Nope,” Keith slowed the car for the red light, “definitely not doing that.”

“You’re so goddamn _boring_ ,” Wade mumbled. After a second he stage whispered, “It’s top isn’t it?”

Keith kept his voice measured, turning his entire body now that he had stopped the car, “I would rather _gouge my own eyeballs out_ with dull _pencils_ then discuss my sex life with you, Wade. I’m not even joking.”

Wade nodded and Keith advanced.

He stared at the picture for a little more before swiping, “Definitely top. What’s your password?”

Now Keith snorted, “Yeah, _that’s_ funny.”

“C’moooon,” Wade stretched himself across the seat, shoving the phone in Keith’s face. He struggled to keep his head away, webbing Wade’s wrist to the car door. He switched the phone to his other hand.

“It’s like driving with a three year old except worst.”

“Hey, a three year old could never have as big a boner as me right now.”

And fuck every single deity that allowed Keith to whip his head around and _look._ Wade burst out laughing, a clear kind of thing that made a mad blush take over Keith’s face. Thank those same deities for his mask.

Still not okay though.

“Oh my God, _dude,_ ” he doubled over cackling. Then he froze in an eerie way, eyes narrowing. “I’m conflicted,” and the way he said it sounded like he didn’t really mean to say it out loud.

Keith took the opportunity to try and erase the moment, “What?”

“None of your beeshit,” Wade snapped, and suddenly Keith’s phone was unlocked.

“What the fuck?” Keith made a grab for it but Wade moved the seat flat.

“Eyes on the road, Spidey.”

“How the fuck do you know my password?”

“Intuition,” he sang, “I know you real well. Also I’ve seen you unlock it before.”

Keith wants to kill his past self. Wants to strangle him with a shoelace. In his mind, he’s currently banging his forehead against the steering wheel. In real life, however, he listens to Wade give a two-note whistle, “Gremlin TM just texted you. ‘It couldn’t be that hard to hack into devices all logged into the same wifi. The hard thing was keeping your screen separate than the rest.’ What’s Gremlin talking about?”

“Thought news travels fast in New York.”

“Yeah, well, the news leaves out key details in order to fuck people over,” Wade said vaguely, “so spill, insider’s scoop.”

Keith wanted to swerve the car just to wipe that grin off Wade’s face. He took a deep breath.

“This, uh, bad guy we’re chasing down right now kind of asked me to.”

Wade rose an eyebrow, raising the seat along with it.

“I was in class. And all the computer screens switched so they were all reading follow me—“

“Creepy as shit, the usual,” Wade amended.

“Yeah, the usual,” Keith echoed, “except mine had been typing my home address over and over before. It changed to the place we’re going to now, but they obviously know where I live and my routine well enough to know I’d be in class that day.”

Wade was quiet. For once. Wow. A startled kind of silence, like he was _thinking._ Yet another first.

“And I live with my boyfriend,” Keith added, for no apparent reason. He wanted to shut off the connection of his mouth from his brain, “so if I’m in trouble, so is he.”

“Does he know?”

“I told him to leave the apartment and stay at a friend’s house until further notice. I’ll explain it later. He gets too…” Keith kept worrying at the inside of his cheek, a habit Lance was constantly trying to snap him out of, “Helpful. I don’t want him to get caught in the crossfire of this thing. It doesn’t make me comfortable.”

Wade sat cross-legged, facing him in the seat, “What if he can though? Help you?”

“I think he’s perfectly capable, and that’s what I’m scared of. He starts tagging along with me and suddenly S.H.I.E.L.D. knows there’s another super on the streets and it’s enough with them breathing down my neck. And the shit I battle on a normal day, let alone—” _Jesus Christ, shut_ up, _Kogane! Abort!_

He cleared his throat, “It’s better with him safe.”

And, like, phrase of the day, y’know, what the fuck? He had a hard time talking to his own brother about shit, why—

“Understandable, Spidey,” all soft, before it went back to normal on the second note, “completely understandable. My squeeze’s the same exact thing, except he doesn’t listen to me as well as yours.”

“How’s that?” Keith asked, trying not to act like he wanted to coax the information out of Wade, but totally was. He barely got a glimpse into Wade’s personal life, not that it was a requirement, but Wade somehow knew so much about him, it put Keith at a disadvantage. The guy knew his damn _phone password_ for fuck’s sake.

Wade flapped his hand around, sitting back, “He’s kind of… he’s a stubborn ass, right? And he’s… I know he knows I’m right when I tell him to calm down and think before doing shit,” _Wade_ telling _his boyfriend_ to calm down, “but he doesn’t. He always comes back but I’m like. I wish I could go with him to his shit to make sure he doesn’t get himself fucking killed.”

“Why don’t you?” He was still reeling from the whole ‘responsible Deadpool’ thing. God, if _Wade_ was the impulse control in his relationship, what the fuck was the other guy _on?_

Wade started and stopped. He put Keith’s phone back to hold his smoothie in both hands, “He’d recognize me and get mad. So I don’t.

“Drink your damn smoothie, Spidey, I made the pit stop just for you. Why do you think I was late?”

“How do I know you haven’t poisoned it?” Keith asked, but picked it up anyway and drank. It was… actually okay. More than that, it tasted like his favorite from the place near Pidge and Hunk’s dorms. Strawberry and banana.

Keith rose an eyebrow, “How’d you know?”

“I was nearby and you’re a basic bitch so I assumed,” he said flippantly, “also if I wanted to kill you, I’d just sniper you through the bushes in front of your house.”

“Don’t have bushes or a house,” Keith pointed out, surprisingly triumphant Wade got one fact wrong.

Wade gave an extremely fake sheepish laugh, “Then that place on Maple I wallpapered in dicks isn’t… damn, shoulda known when that little Filipino woman came out to scream at me.”

Keith didn’t laugh but he let out a slight chuckle, which sent Wade into a string of happy curses. The next hour wasn’t as unbearable as Keith imagined. Wade made the comments he usually did, but didn’t really push Keith to respond.

He persuaded Keith to play a couple of road trip games (lost tragically at punch Buggy, an R-rated game when played with Deadpool), asked about the scared very visible under Lance’s tank top in the picture (“The hospital he was in remission at burned down.” “Damn, going out with a bang, huh?” “Seriously, Wade?” “Too dark? Sorry folks, I take back that joke. Not in good taste. Next one’ll be about dead orphans instead, promise.”), and screamed at Keith when he disposed of the smoothie cups in a gas station dumpster, diving in to toss them into the recycling bin a mile back (“Superhero my perky _ass_ , Spiderman, you’re terrible.”). It was pleasant at some points, fun even.

Wow.

Fun with Deadpool.

Freaky.

It was starting to get dark, but not enough to hide the car. Keith parked under a grove of unkempt trees a block away.

The coast side warehouse was absolutely the type of place you’d expect to be called to by a super villain. Chain link fence with KEEP OUT signs, rundown cars and burnt out cigarettes littered the perimeter. That whole nine. Great.

 “Probably just some kid who thinks it’d be fun to fuck around,” Keith muttered, smacking the car door closed.

Wade did the same and circled to the trunk, opening the spare tire compartment. Keith heard the clank of guns on guns before he saw the Hello Kitty gym bag. He gaped as Wade cooed at all the heavy artillery, “See? Just like in the movie! All my babies.”

“Wh— I—“

“I have my ways, S.Man,” he dismissed, examining an AK.

“This is my _brother’s_ car.”

“Brothers are never off-limits,” Wade said with a wink and settled for a glock on either hip, the AK on his back, and plenty of extra rounds. He also pulled out a katana last minute, sliding it behind the AK.

Keith pinched the bridge of his nose, “We need to have a serious talk about this.”

“No we don’t,” he blew a raspberry, crossing his arms like a petulant kid might, “you’re not the _boss of me._ ”

Keith glared at him, working his jaw. He turned and activated the mask, settling on normal webs on his right wrist and shock on the left.

Wade tapped Keith’s with a knuckle as he passed, “Stop grinding your teeth. It’s bad for you.”

“You’re not the boss of me,” Keith fired back and Wade snickered. He jogged to get in front of him and tapped his drone, “Scan the building for heat signatures and deactivate sensors or surveillance. Live feed up.”

It gave a little beep and flew away to Wade’s delight. Keith could get the drone’s-eye view at the corner of his eye. “Cute! That your little Spidey?” He considered it, stroking his chin, “Gotta be honest, thought it’d be bigger, top.”

“And you’ve been doing so well,” Keith replied dryly.

There were three heat signatures and nothing like a bomb inside. No booby traps the drone could find, and it could find a lot when prompted. The thing was when the drone tried to get a peek through the windows, the feed went static. Keith summoned it back, rattling off the details to Wade was he stepped closer to a blindspotted wall.

Wade drummed his fingers over the handles of his guns, “’Kay. I think we could take them.”

“Okay, like, I know you have _no_ self-control,” Keith began slowly, “but no killing people yet.”

“Just when I started liking you again,” Wade sighed, but didn’t protest.

Two hatches connected to platforms were on the roof. Keith ignored Wade’s protests as he started climbing without Wade. He was hauling himself up when the grappling hook whizzed near his ear. By the time he made it, Wade was wheezing, rolling on his back. Keith snorted

Wade flipped him off, “Fuck you straight to Hollister, Spiderdouche.”

Keith didn’t respond, weighing the distance between the hatches. Would it be better or worse if they split up?

“I go through this one,” Wade pointed with the katana, “you take the other. We’ll cover more surveillance and get a chance to listen in before showing up.”

“We’re not exactly on the same page with much,” Keith said, because it was reasonable, but without a way to—

Wade unzipped one of the pockets in his belt and took out two little red things, like the coverings of ear buds. He handed one to Keith, “Problem solved. I’ll hear you, you hear me.”

Keith tucked his hand under his mask and fit it into his ear, “Huh, didn’t know you’d invest in anything remotely helpful.”

“Says the—“ He cut himself off and continued, “You have your fancy little gadgets and I have mine.”

Keith nodded. He didn’t say anything as he went to the other hatch and opened it. Wade made a clicking noise over the comm and he looked over. Wade gave a thumbs up and dove through the opening.

There was a sort of catwalk underneath him. He hung unto the metal beam over it, swinging up to crouch on it instead of stepping down to avoid making noise. Wade was sitting on it with one arm wrapped around a pole to balance himself.

The inside was as dank and rusted as Keith expected. Except he didn’t really think it would be possible to get electricity in here, and there was a pretty sizable screen up covered in text he could read. It had some big visuals Keith knew did not mean well, at least. Crossing out the Earth really never meant good. His mask was already trying to decipher the language and he sent a silent prayer of thanks to Hunk and Pidge for the upgrade. The three heat signatures were all people in head to toe dark purple body armor. He almost didn’t see the fourth. A red insignia like an M was etched over their chests. They were all at various parts around the screen, discussing in hushed voices. By the higher tones, all could’ve been women.

“Understand any of that?” The low timbre of his voice almost gave Keith whiplash with how familiar it was. He shook his head out.

“Working on it.”

Another small voice that sounded like Pidge came through his mask, _“Language doesn’t compute. Probable extraterrestrial orig—“_

“Jesus Christ, are we dealing with _E.T._ right now?”

Keith kept his voice low and hung off the pole, landing softly in a crouch, “That’s what I’m getting.”

“What the fuck do aliens want with you, Spidey?” Wade’s voice could’ve been mistaken for worried.

“That’s what I wanna know.” The catwalk vibrated as Wade stepped down.

He closed his eyes and focused on listening in to the conversation below. One of the two hooded people had a higher voice, adopting the same tone Wade was using outside, “You’re no _fun,_ Axca!”

“We have everything we need to crush this guy right now,” gruffer, coming from someone bigger, “it’s _stupid—_ “

“It’s stupid to attack when we need information,” firm, very obviously ‘no fun Axca’.

The first voice groaned and folded over the screen’s board, “I don’t want to _attack_ him, just mess with him. This is so boring!”

“I want to attack him,” the gruffer one insisted.

Wade gave a quiet laugh, “Are they talking about you?”

Keith rolled his eyes, “Take a lucky guess.”

“What if he doesn’t even come?”

“Narti projected the image of his home address,” Axca said, and pulled up a video of the message from Keith’s class, “he’ll think we’ve been following him. If he has anybody of importance in his life, he’ll be here any second.”

The dramatic one pushed herself off, “If Lotor’s _right_ , he’ll be here any second, you mean.”

“Yes.”

“Do you trust me, Spidey?”

Keith jolted himself out of the conversation, glancing at Wade. He was still fixated on the group. “What?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Why do you ask?”

“I’m gonna do something.”

Keith narrowed his eyes, “What are you gonna do?”

“Something.”

“Can’t you just tell—“

“No, ‘cause then you’re gonna fucking do it before I do, even though I already have my own goddamn plan. Trust me and don’t follow, okay?”

His brain supplied him with a guess he really hoped was not correct, “Wade—“

Deadpool swung himself over the side of the catwalk, kicking off the wall to land right behind the group. They whirled around, each suddenly holding their own glowing weapon. Wade put his hands up in a Y, “And he sticks the landing! Not even a superhero one, mind you—“

“You’re not—“ Axca held her gun in a straight fire into Wade’s face (which probably wouldn’t kill him, but would not feel good), “How did you find this location? What are you doing here?”

“New travels fast in New York. Heard you were threatening a buddy of mine,” Wade said casually, unhooking one of his glocks and emptying the clip into his hand then reloading it. He continued the motion as they stared at him, walking up to the screen. Keith suspended himself back up into the shadowed little alcove of beams over the catwalk, eyes on the quieter of the hooded ones scanning the area.

The dramatic one stomped her foot, “Lotor never said Parker had reinforcements!”

If Keith believed in anything, it was Pidge with how much thanks he was sending her. She’d spread the rumor of a ‘Peter Parker’ being his alter ego. Lots didn’t believe it, but those who tried looking for him took the name in stride.

“He doesn’t,” Axca snapped, still pointing the gun.

Wade leaned back on the board with both elbows, pointing with the glock, “Can we do introductions? I like to know people’s names before I insult them. I’ve been told it’s one of my most defining traits.”

They said nothing.

He jumped up to sit on the board, announcing brightly, “I’ll go first, then! Name’s Deadpool, AKA DP, not standing for—“

Keith was knew it was a gunshot, but not the familiar kind. More zappy. Nevertheless, it left a steaming hole in Wade’s side. He made a noise that was more annoyed than hurt, “Seriously? Seriously—“

The big one, the one that’d shot him, nodded, “I’ve heard of this one. His thing’s regeneration.”

“Zethrid, I never knew you did your research,” sang Dramatic, bouncing on her toes, “does that mean we can play—“

“I’d _love_ to play—“

Axca put a hand on Dramatic’s shoulder to hold her down, “No, Ezor. We’re not doing that.”

Wade waved his gun at her, “Who made _you_ boss?”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Ezor laughed, nudging Axca with her shoulder, “who made you boss?”

Of course. Keith almost snorted. Of course Wade was able to make friends with the people who literally just shot him.

Wade stepped down, throwing an arm around Axca’s shoulders, to her obvious discomfort, “C’mon, let loose! You’re almost as bad as Spidey.”

She took a big step away from him, “So Parker did send you. Why?”

He shrugged, “He didn’t. I told you, news travels around campus, and I thought it’d be fun to check out what was happening.”

Keith felt a tingle at the back of his neck. He moved positions carefully, away. It was a draft or something. Not a bad feeling.

“You just decided to head out over an hour from your city because you wanted to _check out what was happening?_ " Axca repeated.

Ezor dismissed her with a wave of her hand, sidling up to examine Wade, “I don’t know. I like this guy!” She did a half handstand to look at his feet, then got back up in a cartwheel.

Keith straddled the pole to lean back, whispering, “That makes one of us.”

“See?” Wade could’ve been smiling, pointedly looking up as he repeated, “She likes me.”

Zethrid grunted, “She likes everybody.”

“And you don’t?”

“I like certain people. I don’t like you.”

The mask shifted as Wade pouted, “That’s hurtful, Zethrid. I like _you._ ”

The quiet one, the one Keith had all but forgotten about was suddenly at Ezor’s side. She put a hand on her elbow and Ezor straightened up a bit. Then she tilted her head with a wide grin, giggling a little bit.

Wade didn’t seem to notice, still bargaining with Zethrid on his likability. In the second it took him to weigh the use of warning him about it, Ezor was out of his sight. She’d up and disappeared.

Keith blinked. He moved to crane his head and see if he spotted her anywhere else. “Wade—“ Felt the vibrations go up the beams like the weight of a person on the catwalk, “Wade, where’s—“

A rough shove to his side sent him flying off the beam. He bypassed the catwalk completely, spiraling down to ground level. He didn’t freak out because he could web it, but the fact he hadn’t sensed anybody there got him freaked. The web hit so he was suspended a few yards away from the floor, in clear view of everybody below, and with the noise the wobbling metal made, they were definitely looking.

Whatever Zethrid was about to respond fizzled out in her throat and Keith looked up. Coming down slowly on a fastened ribbon was Ezor, the hood on her head fallen since she was upside down. Her feet were pressed together in the crouch-one hand on the suspension pose most people depicted him in.

“Hello, Spidey,” she had sharp teeth, he noticed, “care to join the party?”

Axca’s face was unreadable and everybody’s eyes shifted back to Wade. He was staring at Keith until he noticed, blowing air out of his mouth, “Uh, would you believe me if I said I didn’t know he was up there?”

Keith felt the pressure in the room changed before Axca shot, “ _Scatter,_ Wilson!” Wade threw himself back to miss the shot, climbing and jumping off the top of the screen to hide behind it. Keith swung himself back to kick forward and knock Ezor away, landing back up on the catwalk.

Ezor landed on her feet after a graceful flip. She smirked, throwing it back at her team, “I knew I liked the guy!”

Axca stopped shooting, glancing at the quiet one, “Good job, Narti. Has he been here all along?”

Narti nodded. So _she_ hacked into the system. He would ask her technique for Pidge’s sake if he didn’t value not resembling Swiss cheese.

“Liking someone doesn’t usually constitute shooting at them,” Keith called, keeping himself alert, “or, y’know, pretending to stalk them.”

“Not many people like you, then,” Wade responded, as if it had been meant for him.

Keith held his breath as he shot a line into a beam away from the cat walk, leaping away as Zethrid disintegrated the place he’d just been standing on. He didn’t flip, but he was on his feet, really wishing Wade could toss him the katana right about now.

Narti put an arm up for Zethrid to presumably cease fire because she huffed and turned off her weapon. Axca marched up to Keith in a way only someone that wanted to get this over with marched (he knew, because that was usually him), “Peter Parker, we have business—“

“Not my name,” Keith interrupted, just to spite. “You should examine news sites more carefully for legitimacy before citing them.”

Wade snorted loudly. A second later, Ezor had him vaulted over the screen, landing none-too-gracefully on his face with a crack. He sat up and rubbed at his broken nose.

Axca ignored that, “Then what should I call you?”

“Most go for ‘Stubborn Ass’, but Spiderman’s good too.”

Ezor laughed along with Wade that time, falling cross-legged next to him, “I like him too! This is the best mission we’ve ever had.”

“Totally,” Wade agreed.

“We have business with you, _Spiderman_.” And Keith wished he had the level-headed voice she had in the face of annoyance, “I’m sure you’ve figured out we’re not exactly human.”

Keith nodded.

“But you’re one of Earth’s ‘heroes’, right? You’re not surprised.”

“I’m surprised by the fact you want me,” Keith said. “Avengers Tower is a few blocks west, if that’s what you were looking for.”

Ezor leaned her head on Wade’s shoulder, “No, we were looking for you. You’re all _special_.”

“You’re not,” Axca said flatly.

“Right in the self-esteem,” Keith replied in the same tone, flattening a hand over his heart.

She crossed her arms, finger tight on the trigger of her gun, “You’re affiliated with the Avengers, but you don’t live in their tower. S.H.I.E.L.D. gives you access, but they don’t keep as close an eye on you as they do on the rest.”

“Sticks and stones, Axca—“

“We are attempting to do this on a small scale so in the inevitable later, we can say we tried having some civility.”

Keith started paying attention now, cocking an eyebrow she couldn’t see, “What?”

Zethrid cut in, using air quotes (aliens used air quotes?), “Lotor believes in ‘diplomacy’, but it obviously won’t _work_ on you.”

He could hear Wade mutter to Ezor, “Keep hearing about a Lotor. Who’s that?”

“Friend of ours.”

“Earth’s track record with extraterrestrial diplomacy isn’t exactly an extensive one,” Axca explained. “From what our surveillance has picked up, anybody, even those who save your world, are still treated like enemies.”

“Again, you're being really freaking vague. You can find the Tower pretty easily, if that's the issue, it has a giant _A_ on it—“

“ _Again_ ,” she said sharply, “S.H.I.E.L.D. keeps a close eye on your tower.”

“ _Again, I still_ —“

“We want your passwords and a good word in to S.H.I.E.L.D. about our arrival.” Ezor gave an exasperated raspberry, slumping her entire body, “ _Quiznak_ , you brooding types are so _difficult._ ”

Keith barked a laugh, “That’s _hilarious._ I don’t know if you have sarcasm in space, so I’ll spell it out for you—“

“We want to have an alliance with your organization and our empire. We are both powerful, if we join forces—“

“Causing a scene in my class doesn’t exactly seem like an alliance-y gesture.”

Zethrid pushed herself forward, “Earthens usually respond to threats—“

“I’m not just gonna up and give you my passwords—“

“See?” Zethrid turned on Axca, “This all became much more complicated than it had to be! We don’t need him, we should have gone straight to the source—“

Axca narrowed her eyes, “And have the entire government on our tails?”

“No, she has a point.” Keith threw an arm up, “Why the hell would I comply to that? ‘Oh, since you asked so _nicely_ —‘”

“Yeah, no offense,” Wade raised his hand, “but ya’ll have a really kill-y vibe. I think the universal code for ‘Taking Over Planet’ is adding it to a list, no?” He motioned at the screen.

“And if you had access to my computer, why didn’t you just grab the information you needed from there and leave me alone?”

Ezor piped up, “That was all an illusion. Narti made everybody in the university see it, but you were the only one who saw your address and this one because your chemical makeup is different.”

And that was not something she was supposed to say. Axca whirled on her, “Ezor!”

She made a defensive gesture, “What? He already said he’d not giving it over!”

It clicked. They didn’t know where he lived. They knew his university, sure, but if they took the news so seriously, people had been able to track one of his most constant starting points into the city was the campus. This was all a long shot.

Jesus Christ.

Keith would’ve started dancing if he knew how to.

“Oh my _god_. You have nothing on me!” Keith almost shouted, pointing at Axca.

She pursed her lips, shooting a dirty look at the apologetic Ezor before answering, “We could—“

“But you _don’t_.”

Ezor stood up out of the corner of his eye, going over to Narti and holding up a small white square to the cat (?!) perched on her shoulder. The cat’s eyes were yellow, and despite the low lighting, they glowed.

The same prickly feeling started up at his nape. He hovered a hand near the spot, glancing behind him.

Axca’s eyes flickered to where Keith’s was looking. She wasn’t scared, but unsure. Like there was no plan beyond this point. Ha. Imagine that.

Wade heaved himself to his feet, cracking his back. He saluted to Zethrid with two fingers, “Well, if you guys have no further threats.” It was really weird Keith hadn’t sensed the cat. Or Narti for that matter. “I think we’ll be on our way, right, Spidey?”

Ezor’s eyes flickered toward Wade with a small grin. A trouble-causing one. Narti took the square and slowly walked toward him. Keith couldn’t hear her footsteps.

“They know too much,” Zethrid announced, not without excitement, “can we take them out now?” Keith snapped his attention to her, tensing up.

Then came the familiar sound of someone hitting the floor and that someone was Wade.

Narti stood over him, head cocked. Ezor teetered on her heels, “Was I right? Tell me I was right!”

She nodded, as she was, silently.

Ezor pumped a fist in the air, whooping.

Keith had learned to start keeping his cool whenever Wade got hurt, because the hole in his ribs had already mended. He was a sturdy guy. But something was completely off.

“What did you do to him?”

“Oh, she just rifled around in his mind a bit,” Ezor dismissed, poking Wade’s head with her toe. “He’ll be _fine_.”

Sure enough, not a second later, Wade shot up, scrambling to his feet. He stumbled, crashing into the board and snarling, “What the mother _fuck_ was that?”

Oh shit. That was _mad._ That was _angry._

“Rifled around in his mind?” Keith asked lowly, not quite the same tone, but close.

Ezor plucked the small square from Narti and waved it in Wade’s face, ignoring Keith, “I can put two and two together pretty quick, right? I’m a whiz at crossword puzzles.”

Wade’s eyes turned saucered and he tried to snatch it away from her. She danced out of his reach, laughing. “Why you little—“ His guns were out and shooting. Ezor wasn’t hit in the slightest, making Wade chase her around the room.

Axca was twisting to look, “What’s happening? Ezor—“

“They found something out about him,” Zethrid said after bending to listen to Narti. Keith hadn’t heard her whisper. Never heard her so much as breathe.

“What? What is it?”

Ezor leaped over the screen and it shattered as Wade shot through it. Everybody ducked and Ezor was screaming over the noise, “I thought we were _friends_ —“

“That’s _mine,_ you shitty little _pick pocket_ —“

“You obviously don’t have many friends if you’ve never been pick pocketed!”

Things happened in quick succession. If he had a normal brain, he wouldn’t have processed it.

Ezor stopped and quickly turned on her heel, catching Wade by surprise and using his shoulders to heave herself into a flip. Her hand made the motion of ripping off his mask, but Keith didn’t see anything since she was right in front of him. She kicked him full in the chest so he was sprawled under the board, half-hidden. His guns clattered.

She perched her elbow on Axca’s shoulder, swirling the mask on her finger. “People get so unhinged when they have something to lose.”

Everybody except Narti echoed, “What?”

She held the square, the back of a picture, Keith could see now, between two fingers in front of Axca’s face. Zethrid peered from behind.

“I feel like I only half understand,” Zethrid said, taking the picture and squinting at it. “Is this him?”

“Yup,” Ezor took it back, “I nabbed it before I found Spidey. DP left one of his little pockets open.” There was a groan. It came from _DP_ ’s general direction, it _should_ have been _DP._ It turned Keith’s spine into a rod of ice instead.

No.

Ezor walked lightly, sashaying her hips, “And see, I’m a people person, I look at people. When I was sitting with dear DP, I looked at him. He was looking at Spidey,” she jerked her head at him.

“What does this have to do with us wiping them out?” Zethrid growled.

“I always like completing all the side quests before finishing the game, and I know you do too.”

Zethrid seemed to totally agree, charging up her gun, "Right. Continue."

What he was feeling wasn’t fear. It could’ve been fear. It felt a whole hell of a lot like fear, “What are you talking about? What do you mean he was looking at me?”

“He was looking at you,” she stopped walking in front of him, examining her nails and holding up the picture, “kinda like this.”

She had a flair for the dramatic, this alien. It reminded him too much of two—of Lance.

He’d taken it at the beach. Everybody piled into Hunk’s bright yellow soccer mom car one hell-hot day and driven to Port Washington. Keith had just taken off his shirt when there was an arm around his shoulders, pulling him close and kissing the corner of his mouth. He was laughing, at least attempting to look at the phone camera.

Lance made no such attempt.

When he finally perfected the formula for the webs, he tested them on different scales. The building to building jump, the big one, took a second to go taut. That second was all it took for Keith to think it had snapped and he was about to become a decent-sized splat on the sidewalk. Right now, Keith felt like the splat on the sidewalk.

He plucked the picture from Ezor but didn’t spend any time looking at it, shoving it in his sleeve.

_Yes._

_Oh my God, I’m such an_ idiot. _I’m so_ stupid.

 _You_ live _with the guy, Kogane, Jesus_ Christ.

Ezor didn’t look satisfied with his reaction, “What? No shock? Did you already know? Was I too late?”

“Yeah,” Keith replied airily, “yeah, you were too late. Found out a month or two ago.”

“What?” From Ezor and Lance in unison. Lance sat up, his hair a mess of sweaty spikes, “Seriously?” His eyes were their exact shade of blue. It was a worried blue, a hopeful but terrified color.

Keith stared directly into them, gritting his teeth, “ _Yes._ ”

And Lance knew it was bullshit, that yes, because he knew Keith ~~how Keith thought he’d known _him_~~. Keith could see the flash, hear the click. But he stood up, brushing off his pants and stowing away his guns anyway; every movement was Wade’s and it was Lance’s.

Hunk knew.

He slipped sometimes, and Keith was stupid, he called them slips. Who else to spread the name Wade Wilson than Hunk, their resident gossip.

_If I wasn’t so angry, I’d kill myself for being so daft._

Lance came over and made a grabby hand for the mask at Ezor, who handed it over gloomily. He tucked it in his pack. There was no point in hiding his face anymore.

She groaned, “Gah, I thought for _sure_ I had something.”

“I mean, A for effort, E,” Lance flashed her a smile, the same one he used on waitresses and bartenders and anybody he could get his eyes on. So that’s how Deadpool smiled. “We should swap e-mails or something. Seriously, I had a lot of fun.” He could hear Lance’s lilt to the words now. If he looked inside that mask he’d probably find a voice modulator.

All Hunk, of course.

Jesus.

Lance waited before slinging the same arm around his shoulders. Anybody who knew them would find that off, since it usually aimed for his waist or low around his hips. Keith kept himself rigid.

“Well, ladies—“

“Zethrid,” Axca cocked her gun and Keith noticed most of the windows were broken, “I think we can wipe them out now.”

Lance yelped when Keith ascended, just missing the blast. He was holding on like Deadpool, all arms and legs and the memories of nights and mornings and afternoons because, hey, the amount of fabric they had on put together amounted to a t-shirt of space away from each other, and they’d been pressed together in much less.

Lance tugged at his waist, Ezor’s ribbon wrapping around his ankle. He let go of Keith and yanked his leg through the air so Ezor fell forward. Keith touched on the side of the window he’d meant to escape through with a snarl and kicked off, coming back around.

The AK was out, mowing down any semblance of the screen. He ripped back with the force of Axca’s shot and Keith’s heart

                                             stopped in his throat with the sheer horror of it.

Then he remembered. Lance didn’t even stop, taking a leveled breath and nicking Axca’s hand so her gun fell with a grunt. Keith grabbed Lance by the back of his suit, chucking him through an unbroken window.

Just because he needed an exit and really felt like it.

He crashed through but Keith wrapped his arm around his back before he even started falling.

_Did I ever mention I have a fear of heights?_

Keith blocked out the outraged shrieks and rapid commands of Zethrid and Ezor respectively, hitting the ground running. He let go of Lance to do the same and weirdly remembered the Hello Kitty gym bag before he even spotted the car.

Did Shiro know?

_He’s a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. He might._

He threw the trunk open and took one of Shiro’s spare gym towels, tossing it at Lance like one might a cannonball, “Cover the seat with this, I don’t want you bleeding all over the leather.”

Lance did it without complaint, and though Keith didn’t get a good look at him, he assumed the bleeding thing. He found himself correct when he revved up the Hummer, having one shot scrape his arm, the other go clean through his shoulder.

In the rearview mirror, Keith could see the warehouse flooding with light. Lance pressed the button to open the sunroof and rifled through his pockets, taking out a golf ball-sized sphere. He jerked his chin at Keith, “Drive.”

Keith pressed the accelerator into the floor, Lance kneeling up to poke the AK through the space. He wound his arm back and threw the ball, which went long and stuck to the metal of the chain link fence.

He could hear Lance’s rapid heartbeat, his steady breathing, the soft click of the gun. The entire side of the warehouse exploding.

They were on the actual road when Lance’s heartbeat steadied and he settled in the seat, all the weapons discarded in the backseat. He mussed his hair up even more, giving a giddy laugh.

Keith saw him throw his head in his direction, anticipated the witty remark on his tongue. Then he remembered. Flattened himself into the passenger’s seat.

It hurt Keith’s chest like a sucker punch to the jaw. God. If he weren’t so angry he’d excuse it.

If he weren’t so god awful at holding grudges, not the act, but the carrying out. He was awful.

And stupid.

Neither Lance nor Wade had ever been this quiet near him for so long. He had to stop referring to them as different people.

The anger made the sides of his vision black and everything else white and he actually had to pull over at an arm of the road leading to an open field. He kicked the door open, coming down hard.

He ripped his mask off and into the car, kicking the door right back into place. Shoved both hands through his hair to smooth it down. Of _course_ Deadpool knew so much about his life, Lance _was_ his life.

“I’m such a goddamn _idiot,_ ” Keith shouted and picked up a rock from the road just to chuck it at a nearby tree, cutting a clean way through the trunk. He heard a car door close distantly but couldn’t very well bring himself to have a fuck to give.

The soft touch between his shoulder blades did a simultaneous thing. Keith almost melted into it, almost crumpled into it and sobbed out of the sheer frustration that his the last year of his life was all a lie. That Keith didn’t win. The other one did.

The one that whirled and went nose to nose with Lance. Without the mask, the last shred of super interference was out. Despite the suits, they were Lance and Keith.

This was about Lance and Keith.

Lance opened his mouth and Keith shook his head, “No. No, you don’t get to talk right now.

“Did you ever even _plan_ on telling me? Were you ever—“ He held up a hand, grinding his teeth like Lance hated oh so much, “No, reverse, go back. When?”

Lance had his mouth set in a thin line, lips sucked back into his mouth.

 _“_ Don’t start being smart now, Lance.”

He slowly let air out of his nose, gulped, “Could you specify—“

“Since when have you done this,” he motioned up and down. “Since before I met you? After we started dating?”

“After we met,” he wrinkled his nose as he thought, “a little bit… a little bit after we started dating.”

Keith’s body felt out of place. Cold to balance out his hot head. His voice wasn’t his, “Cancer after?”

Lance winced, shutting his eyes, “Exactly after.”

“Okay, yeah.” He was almost certain he was not in control of himself at the moment. Like watching a fun TV show or reading a story. “Let’s get back in the car so I have something to do with my hands that doesn’t have to do with wringing your neck.”

Keith couldn’t fathom the emotions in Lance’s eyes. That was how Keith normally spoke to him, to both of him. Never with intention, obviously, but the anger brought out a sincerity to his threats that was never present.

The ignition sputtered and Keith continued, “It wasn’t remission, was it? You were dying.”

Lance was drumming his fingers on his thighs, even with his hands folded, “Last resort. I— I knew it was shady. I was surer I wouldn’t come back than not.”

“Then—“

“I’m alive, aren’t I? It was shady, and the dude running it was a psychopath, but I was cured. The place did burn down, but that’s not where the scarring came from. The treatment had some side effects.”

“I’m an idiot,” Keith muttered, switching lanes and remembering there was nothing on the news about a hospital burning down in those days.

“Keith—“

He dug his fingers into the wheel, “Continue telling me, Lance.”

“I didn’t know about the whole regeneration thing. I just thought the tumor was poof,” he whistled, “gone. Got a little beat up, but it’s all good, I’m alive. I came back and everybody was happy and I had you so… I didn’t see the point in telling you guys about what happened.

“I used to bruise really easily. You remember that.”

He did. When Keith brought it up, Lance had rolled his eyes and hugged Keith low around his waist with a mischievous smile, _Just an opportunity to give me more, right?_

“Yeah.”

“First clue. Second one was getting shot and not dying.” Keith threw a wild look his way but Lance flapped a hand uninterestedly, “Regeneration thing, remember? I was mugged and the guy wanted my wallet; I was actually on my way to your house since I’d left it there on movie night. I kept telling him I didn’t have it and tried to reason with him. He got squirrely and left me bleeding out in the alley.

“I blacked out for, like, two seconds and stood right back up. Didn’t even hurt by the time I was at your house—“ Keith could remember how wide-eyed he’d been, a few weeks before they moved in together (again; after starting to date, Hunk and Lance had the apartment while they decided when the right time to live together again would be). He kept fiddling with his jacket, zipping it tighter around his throat.

_The air was metallic, thick like—_

“—then I went to Hunk’s.”

Keith frowned, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“This was before I knew you were Spiderman and your brother ran with the big boys.”

“You knew I was Spiderman and Shiro was an agent yesterday, and still didn’t say shit,” Keith snapped.

“It was freaky, okay? I was going all _Walking Dead_. Hunk took a sample of my blood and got access to the lab in his university and found all the chemicals and shit in there. Obviously from the ‘remission’.”

Keith realized, at that point, they’d met as Spiderman and Deadpool before Lance knew. He’d been different to him, much less flirty, but still just as much a pain in the ass.

Keith swallowed his heart back into his ribcage, taking a shuddering breath. His anger was still there, but the heat in his veins had bled out. The emptiness behind his eyes threatened to be filled.

There was silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

And even he heard how heartbroken his voice sounded. Lance flinched worse than when he’d been shot earlier. The wound had healed.

Lance took a long time to answer, “I didn’t know how to.”

“I gave you a pretty good time,” Keith said, and didn’t elaborate what he meant.

“You just—I was so surprised—“

“How the fuck do you think I feel?”

Lance leaned forward to look at him, pleading, “You were always telling me how much you didn’t like Deadpool, and how he was such a pain in the ass—“

“ _You’re_ a pain in the ass!” Keith lowered his voice, “Did you ever think I meant it when I said it to you? I still fell in love with you, like the proper dumbass I am.”

A spark of hope in the blue, “Exactly! You loved _me_ not—“

“I said I hated Deadpool the same way I said I hated you. I hated Wade because all this time my brain kept trying to remind me _you love him, you love this guy_ , and I didn’t fucking listen because I felt terrible every time I did.” Lance squinted his eyes when it sank in and Keith was grateful for the red light, slamming the brakes and glaring at him, “Don’t start getting jealous of yourself, McClain, you dug this hole, now lay in it.”

“Thought that saying was with a bed.”

“Not the way I’m gonna do it.”

They were back in New York, not quite Queens, when Lance decided to say, voice heavy, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.”

Keith almost squeezed his eyes shut even though he was driving, just so he’d crash into the car in front of him and not have to respond to that. He shook his head slowly, “No. Don’t do that.”

“I am—“

“You don’t get to be sorry right now. This was the most conscience decision you can ever goddamn make.”

“Not really,” Lance sank into the seat, “I decided to lo—“

“I swear to God, finish that sentence and I’ll cut you into so many pieces, there’ll be thousands of Deadpools running loose in New York.”

There was a miraculous parking spot in the sparse lot in front of the apartment. Keith left everything inside, going directly for the alleyway-facing fire escape he used to get in when he was wearing the suit. Lance seemed to go automatically for the back of the building, pausing and following Keith instead. Keith thought about ordering him to continue the path he’d been on, just to see how he got in without Keith seeing him, but didn’t

He didn’t have the actual goddamn strength to.

He wrenched the window open and clambered inside. It wasn’t different. In the car, he thought about suddenly seeing all the signs, little bits of the apartment lighting up, big letters saying IT WAS RIGHT HERE ALL ALONG!

It was still their apartment.

Keith went directly for the room, jumping to yank a gym bag out of the rack on top of the closet. He dropped it on the bed.

Lance stood in the doorway, not leaning on it like usual, broad shoulders hunched. Keith still had that little part of his brain telling him to demolish the person that caused him to look like that, but of course, that was him. And this wasn’t his fucking fault, anyway, so.

“Keith…”

He finally had the chance to squeeze his eyes shut, turning his back on Lance. Tucking the handful of shirts into the bag.

Keith heard his pulse skip and quicken when he realized, “Keith—“

“I can’t—“ His voice was the _worst_ when his emotions were scrambled. It cracked and broke and did all the things his chest felt like doing. “I can’t be here right now.”

The air shifted next to him, all Lance’s warmth, all Wade’s desperation, “No, c’mon. We have to talk, we—we—“

“I can’t talk to you right now,” Keith started shoving shit in more carelessly, only making sure it was his.

Lance ducked his head, trying to get Keith look at him, hands flying, “Keith, we can talk. I’ll tell you everything, every single little detail, _please_ —“ He snapped his head to meet his eye. The blue was hurt and watery, and Keith’s eyes felt bruised. He broke the contact, clenched fists hidden in the clothes.

“I _cannot_ ,” he repeated, steeling every bit of himself he was in control of, “talk to you. I—I can’t _look_ at you.”

“Keith—“

“It hurts.”

It actually did. He’d been drilled several layers into the crust before, had all the bones in his right arm pulverized, been _this close_ to being completely _toasted_ , and this shit was what was about to make him start crying.

Because here was this guy, this _idiot_ , he’d decided to put all his trust in— _Do you trust me, Spidey?_ — decided to put his entire _life_. Both of them. And he would look at Lance and know that crooked smile, those bright eyes, in any and every incarnation. Remembered being outside the office when they said he had late stage cancer, with so many tumors the origin was almost nonexistent.

He knew Lance and he’d met Wade. The equation didn’t work when both variables were added together.

“It hurts that I look at you and have no idea who you are.”

Lance’s lips parted. It was terrible Keith wanted to kiss him. Or maybe punch him. Both would be fantastic. He decided anything left behind he could buy more of and zipped up the bag. Lance put his hand over Keith’s wrist halfway through—

Keith grabbed it and twisted it so with a grip he knew would bruise, but didn’t break. He’d been aiming to break, but couldn’t physically bring himself to do it. Lance made a startled squeak, eyes wide. Keith let go, flinging it down, roughly looping the strap around him with the open flap.

Lance didn’t make the mistake of touching him again, but stayed close, pleading as Keith went back to the window, “Listen to me, then, you don’t have to look, you don’t have to talk, but _listen_. Keith, baby, _please._

“I love you.”

“Don’t,” Keith had given up on snapping, the word coming out weak.

“I do. You’re my entire life, I—I can’t live without you with me.”

Keith wrung the strap between both hands, the urge for it to be Lance’s neck still there. He stopped in front of the draft to face Lance. Drew all his height.

Lance had tear tracks down his cheeks. The smell of salt hung heavy between them. Keith didn’t feel himself trail his hand over Lance’s face, just until he was wiping them away. He didn’t stop himself. He’d expected to Lance’s skin to burn, to actually sear his fingertips off.

It was blotchy and hot, like the tail end of a nightmare or the end of a sad movie he’d deny the next day.

_The second I’m out that window, I’m going to disintegrate._

He hiccupped, own hands dangling at his sides, “I’m sorry.”

_I’m sorry._

_I love you._

_Fine, let’s talk, let’s forget this._

_I forgive you._

_You’re my everything, Lance._

“I need time,” he pulled away and the inches of space were entire planets, entire galaxies.

Keith swung his leg over the sill, eyes focused on the rust of the ladder, “I’ll get Hunk to give you your stuff,” _the mask, the melee in my trunk,_ “back.”

He glanced at Lance one more time before disappearing, putting every bit of sincerity he had behind his words, “If you look for me, if I even catch wind you’ve asked, I’ll break more than just your wrist.”

✦

Keith heard the sobs from the parking lot.

✦ 

He was sure someone in the next building over would enjoy the Hello Kitty bag he’d chucked into their roof.

✦

**[6:57 pm] Missed Call: Bae <3**

**[3:45 pm] The Fave @ (not) beeFuckers:** Pidge!!!!

 **[3:45 pm] gremlin™ @ (not) beeFuckers:** i thought we wanted to get rid of him???

**[3:39 pm] The Fave @ (not) beeFuckers: ^^^**

**[3:38 pm] Bae <3 @ (not) beeFuckers: **Thats extremely comfortibng bb thnx 4 the upd8

✦ 

Shiro didn’t have his shirt or arm on. He peeked over Keith’s shoulder to look at his car, “Not a scratch on her, right?”

Keith shook his head carefully.

His brother smiled, holding the door open. Keith hung the keys on the hook. They jangled cheerfully against the IN DOG YEARS, I’M DEAD keychain in the shape of a bone.

He wasn’t smiling anymore.

“Keith?”

He took a rattling breath, what felt like the first one since leaving, “Did you know about Deadpool?”

Shiro blinked, “Deadpool? He’s evaded S.H.I.E.L.D. since we first heard about him. Why? What did he do?” Keith stared at the long scar running the length of Shiro’s stomach, curling on his ribcage.

His brother never lied to him. White little things, maybe, _I didn’t eat the last cookie_.

“Lance,” the name fought him on the way out, crackled in his teeth, “Lance is Deadpool. I didn’t know until today.”

“What?”

Keith pointed vaguely behind him, starting to enter the living room, “He might’ve—You should clean the passenger seat with hydrogen peroxide, maybe.”

Shiro held both his shoulders, stopping him, “Keith, what?”

His throat was clogged, his eyes were clogged, everything was shoved deep until it wasn’t. Keith collapsed like someone kicked him forward into Shiro’s chest, took a broken pipe to the back of his knees

“I—I didn’t know. I didn’t _know._ ”

✦ 

He told Shiro everything about the aliens, and that meant relaying the info back to S.H.I.E.L.D. He sat in a cold room and handed over a USB with (altered) footage from his mask and prints of the screen. He was grilled for more details, asked if _Deadpool gave you any personal information?_ and _Did you detectany trace of_ [insert scientific phrase he didn’t fucking know here] _in the warehouse? Can you give us any more details that aren't in the file?_

_No. No. No._

There were already theories of his state being altered by Narti, of Deadpool being in cahoots with the extra terrestrials, of—

Keith didn’t read many newspapers despite working for one.

Shiro let him crash in his spare room. Keith went to class and to work and visited Pidge to give his input on projects. He patrolled more during the day and changed some contact names.

**Author's Note:**

> i WARNED yall there WASNT A HAPPY ENDING. there will be one in the next one, probs, but WHO knows when thatll be ;;). also i used the Girl Gang bcause Im Gay and Sad
> 
> dm me a story on my [tumblr](http://mcclainnkogane.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Comments & Kudos Are Appreciated <3


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